For much of my life, I have operated as a "fixer" in my relationships. If someone I cared about came to me with a problem, a frustration, or a point of friction, my immediate biological response was to rapidly formulate a solution. On the surface, being a fixer sounds like a positive trait. It feels helpful. It feels supportive. But clinical psychology offers a different perspective: constantly stepping in to solve other people's problems is often less about helping them, and more about soothing our own internal anxiety. The Mechanics of Rescuing When we see someone we care about in distress, it creates emotional discomfort within us. For those of us with hyperactive or anxious mental baselines, that discomfort is intolerable. Source: Shutterstock In psychology, there is a model called the Karpman Drama Triangle , which maps out destructive social interactions. The "Rescuer" (the fixer) is a classic role. The rescuer intervenes to fix the situation, which tempo...
Nearly twenty years ago, I started a blog called The Path is Too Deep, a geeky reference to a rare computer error message. A great deal of life has happened since then, a life I would like to share. So, here again, are some random bits of unfiltered Chris.