Roll for Initiative: Why a 53-Year-Old Man Still Plays Dungeons & Dragons

If you look at my professional bio, you’ll see "Manager of Program Quality and Compliance." You’ll see a 25-year career in adult education. You’ll see a 53-year-old man who pays taxes, manages a cardiac condition, and worries about his retirement portfolio.

But every Thursday night, without fail, I put all of that aside. I sit down at a table with six of my oldest friends, I pull out a bag of funny-shaped dice, and for four hours, I am not a Manager. I am a Game Master, weaving a story of epic heroism, magic, and monsters.

I have been playing Tabletop Roleplaying Games (TTRPGs) since I was nine years old.

To some, this might seem odd. We live in a culture that often judges hobbies on a sliding scale of "age-appropriateness." Golf is for adults. Woodworking is for adults. Pretending to be an elf wizard? That’s supposed to be something you grow out of.

But I’m here to tell you that this "game" is one of the most important, sophisticated, and beneficial tools in my life.

What Is a Tabletop RPG? (It’s Not a Video Game)

Before I go further, let me explain what we’re actually doing. When I say "RPG," most people think of video games like Skyrim or World of Warcraft. Those are great, but they are largely passive experiences. The computer tells you the story.

Tabletop RPGs (like Dungeons & Dragons or Pathfinder) are different.

• The Setup: A group of friends sits around a table (or a virtual one).

• The Tools: Pencil, paper, and dice.

• The Goal: Collaborative storytelling.

There is no computer, except as an aide to play. There is no script. As the Game Master (GM), I describe a scenario: "You stand before the ancient ruins of a dwarven citadel. The stone doors are sealed, but you hear a low growl from the darkness. What do you do?"

The players then decide—using their own creativity and problem-solving skills—how to react. We roll dice to see if their actions succeed or fail. Together, in real-time, we build a story that has never existed before and will never exist again.

Surviving the "Satanic Panic"

My journey started in the early 80s, right in the middle of what we now call the "Satanic Panic."

For those too young to remember, there was a genuine, widespread cultural hysteria that games like D&D were a gateway to the occult. News reports warned parents that their children would lose touch with reality or be drawn into cults.

As a nine-year-old kid just looking for an outlet for his imagination, this was baffling. Thankfully, I had my mother. Despite the fear-mongering on the news, she saw the game for what it was: a creative outlet. She protected my hobby and encouraged my persistence. Because of her, I didn't put the dice away. I kept rolling.

As it turns out, I never entered a cult. Or a heavy metal band.

Why I Still Play: The Real-World Benefits

Over 40 years later, I can look back and see exactly what this hobby has given me. It’s not just escapism; it’s a training ground.

1. The Social Anchor

In a world where male friendships often drift apart as we age, my gaming group has been a rock. We have been playing together for over 20 years. We have seen each other through marriages, divorces, career changes, and grief. The game is the reason we show up, but the brotherhood is why we stay. It is a scheduled, non-negotiable block of social connection that combat isolation.

2. The Mental Gym (Creativity & Problem Solving)

As a GM, I am a writer, a director, an improvisational actor, and a referee all at once. I have to build worlds, create economies, and react instantly when my players do something completely unexpected (which they always do). It keeps my brain sharp, flexible, and creative in a way that my day job simply doesn't.

3. The Academic Edge

I credit gaming with a huge part of my vocabulary, my math skills (calculating probabilities on the fly), and my (real world) history knowledge. To run a realistic medieval fantasy, you end up learning about feudal economics, military tactics, and architecture. It made me a lifelong learner.

4. The Ultimate Outlet

We all have stress. We all have our own stories of trauma and grief. TTRPGs provide a safe place to process that. In the game, we have agency. We can fight the monsters. We can save the day. We can be heroic. It is a cathartic release to step out of my own skin for a few hours and inhabit a world where problems—no matter how big—can be solved with courage, teamwork, and a lucky roll of the dice.

The Takeaway

So, yes. I am a 53-year-old professional, and I play make-believe with my friends.

I don't do it because I'm refusing to grow up. I do it because it keeps me sane, it keeps me connected, and it keeps my mind alive. In a world that can often feel overwhelming and out of control, there is a profound power in sitting down, looking at my friends, and asking the magic question:

"What do you do?"